32. That number is significant for me. That’s the age I am today. Today should be a joyous time for me. But right now I am just confused. 32 was the age that Philando Castile was when he died. He didn’t get to see 33. He was just a day away from his birthday. I just like (sarcastically) how we are continued to be the bottom of the barrel. How come we can’t have equality in this world? How come we have to be evil to each other just to get to the top? This violence has to end. Not just from a civilian standpoint but from a government standpoint as well. Where is the peace? Is it only JUST FROM WITHIN? It can’t be. More and more each day I am learning more about people and their motives. Why would you even hate another race? I get that there are people that just want to do harm and those are the ones that should be eliminated. But if that’s the case. Then the whole world ends. Everyone has a mean streak somewhere. But this mess lately is just not normal, but it has become the norm. That’s not cool whatsoever. The people that choose to be ignorant about these situations are the ones that don’t face turmoil, the tragedy, the fear, and don’t want anything to change because they believe in their eyes that their inner circle is just fine. I sit hear with tears and write to say, “When will you understand? Do you even want to understand it?” In all honesty, I just want to see 33. I’ll admit I had some laughs last night but after that was over I went back to being confused. I want to live. But I can’t make that decision. The good Lord makes that decision for me. But before he decides that I leave earth I would love to have the hope that change can be made. That peace and love can rule over the world. Happy birthday to me.